Come to me like the rain...Rise up in me.....

Thank You God for yesterday...You allowed Deepwaters to be a channel of life-change, to be a channel of your prescence and your reality which flowed through us to the crowd. I hope we can do more of these things, worship is our passion, lifting high the name of Jesus, is our passion, and will always be our passion. Last night, I kept praying this praying, asking God to come to us like the rain, and Rise up in us Jesus.

God spoke to me this morning about her, and He told me to just love her as a friend, and a sister, and to put aside the "romantic" feelings, and the pain. Jesus loved us when we didn't even love Him in return. So I just felt that was what God was telling me to do this morning.

So to end this off..

Lord..

Come to me like the rain, Rise up in me..Jesus!..Rise up in me passion, boldness, faithfulness, wisdom, love, faith, hope, holiness. Make all things old, into new. Bring freshness, and newness into my life.

Bring passion to reach the lost, and to pray for them, to speak boldly for you, so send us out.

And so I sing this song...words by James MacDonald...

Downpour

here where self and sin and sadness have displaced the oil of gladness
here in barren desert madness weary and dry cannot run or walk i'm crawling but through shame i hear You calling clouds of mercy, raindrops falling downpour, i need a downpour

come, come like the rain wash every stain, fall upon me, Jesus river of God, flooding with joy rise up in me, Jesus

into my hearts desolation flows the water of salvation fill this lowly wasteland with the shower from above only You can quench my thirsting fill until my heart is bursting Jesus, ever be the first thing downpour, i need a downpour

come, come like the rain wash every stain, fall upon me, Jesus river of God, flooding with joy rise up in me, Jesus

Grip me....

Lord Grip me!...

Grip me with your awesomeness, peace.
Grip me with purpose, that everyday will not be wasted, but an awesome opportunity to bring glory to You.
Grip me with strength.
Grip me with purpose to be the Man I ought to be.
Grip me with the knowledge of who I am as a child of God. Precious in your eyes, yet I didn't do anything to deserve your love, it's all by your grace.
Grip me with love for others..

Grip me....

This I have vowed...and prayer...

Today I went to a walk in the word bible study at harvest markham. I really felt God presence in that room. It was really real. It was really special to be with God's people and worship with them, and to be with a people who just love God's word. And that's such an awesome place to be in.

I felt God speak to me about something during the worship time. I felt him telling me to give Him the best years of my life. And those years are my singleness. So I made a promise to God that I would give Him my singleness and to live for Him as much as I can in my singleness. I made a promise that I would remain single until He tells me when the right time to date again.
I felt like He was telling me the next person you date will be the person you will marry.

God I really want to change and be a Godly man. So change me God.

I just fel like you were also telling me yesterday that it is very important to pray. My community needs so much prayer! There is so much death and suffering, all around. I need to pray, God help me to pray.

Love you Jesus!...

-Joshy signing out-

Keep an open mind, and ask questions...

Today I realized that God is teaching me something else. He's teaching me to keep an open mind, and to ask people questions about their experiences, and to learn from them. It could be anything really, from asking about simple things like cooking, or finances, or stocks, or their perspective on a certain issue. I shouldn't be proud, but be open and be willing to learn and be corrected.

-Joshy signing out-

A new shift...

I just came back from a retreat on the weekend. It was really encouraging and uplifting. I was reminded of a few things...And remember one thing..Attitudes are patterns of thinking formed over time...get that right..and it's all good, because once your recognize it, you can change the way you think and therefore change your attitudes.

God spoke to me about 3 things...

1. He takes great delight in me! He thinks about me all the time. He sings over me. He rejoices over me. Knowing that just changes everything, and keeps my heart at rest about the future about things ahead, about the things I long for and desire.

2. Don't give up! Don't give up doing God's work, living for Him, don't give up hope, don't give up! Don't give up doing good deeds, don't give up praying for others, don't give up believing that others can come to know Him, don't give up! Why....because God says that we shouldn't give up doing good, for at the appointed time we will reap! We may not always see the results in our lifetime, but God is working, and we may see them in heaven. See all the people we have touched, see the results of our ministries and actions, and choices we have made.

3. Just go back to God every time! Let's don't stop coming back to Him for advice, comfort, grace, wisdom, and love. Let's continue pouring out our hearts to God about different things, and know that God is listening and God cares, and He will speak to us about these things, and He will be with us, and guide us. He loves it when we pour out our hearts to Him! He loves it!

-Joshy signing off-

Perhaps an attitude shift?

I've been praying about what are the next steps for me. I realized maybe it's just a matter of attitude. Maybe I just need to train myself to think a certain way because attitudes are just patterns of thinking formed through time. So I just want to change my attitude about one main issue in my life. I have problem with being single. Sometimes I don't like it. But God's been teaching me to treasure my singleness, to appreciate it, to take this time to grow and be strong, to grow to be a man of God, to do things I wouldn't be able to do if I was with someone.

So God I can only pray this prayer...

Dear God, I realize that being single is only a season for my life, and when it is the right time, you will bring someone awesome into my life. So in the meantime, grant me grace to appreciate my singleness and to treasure it. To really see it as a gift from You and to take this time to grow to be a man, to learn about different things, to seize opportunities and to make really good friends.

God change the way I think about singleness, and change the way I view my own singleness, and help me to see that there is a purpose in my singleness, and to seize that purpose.

-Amen-

Living with Strong Convictions

Living with Strong Convictions
By Brian Houston

A general election can be a fascinating observation of human nature. In the weeks leading up to an election, weekly opinion polls attempt to reflect which way voters are swinging.
There will usually be a number of hardcore voters who stand firmly on each opposing side, but the swing of balance is usually focused on those who haven't quite made up their mind. As the debate heats up, these are the voters that each contender aims to influence and persuade to vote for their cause. They are an unknown, uncertain, entity, who often don't know where they stand because they don't have any firm convictions.

The truth is that if you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything. There are many people who don't know what they really believe in life. They have no firm convictions or solid persuasions so they aren't committed to anything in particular. Their instability and double-mindedness tosses them backwards and forwards.

Your convictions are the beliefs and persuasions that ground you and establish the pattern of your life. One can only admire those who make a stand for what they believe in, or live for a specific cause. Ten years ago in April 1994, South Africa held its first democratic, multi-racial elections and Nelson Mandela was elected president of his country by a vast majority. Yet more than three decades before, he had made a stand and went to jail for 27 years for the cause he believed in the struggle to end apartheid in South Africa.

I know, I believe, I'm committed, I'm persuaded

On any given Sunday, millions of Christian believers attend church services all over the world. How many would be prepared to be arrested and jailed for their faith?

The Apostle Paul was one who was prepared to suffer persecution for the sake of the Gospel. He was able to state with absolute conviction:
"For this reason I also suffer these things; nevertheless I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day." [2 Timothy 1:12 NKJV]

It is Paul's fervour and persuasion that have inspired others over the centuries to commit to the Cause of Christ. He knew, he believed, he was persuaded and he was committed. There are many who don't know their own convictions and are unsure what they believe. The result is that they can be easily persuaded one way or the other. They aren't committed to anything, when instead they could be influential and persuasive.

Your convictions cannot be separated from the pattern of your life. Where and how you stand will set the course of your life. Paul went on to exhort and encourage Timothy: "Hold fast the pattern of sound words which you have heard from me, in faith and love which are in Christ Jesus." [2 Timothy 1:13 NKJV]

Whatever your convictions are, they set a pattern of your life. Strong convictions can build a strong life, but if your convictions are weak and wavering, your life will be the same. Those who stand for nothing are building a pattern of inconsistency, and may end up going from crisis to crisis. Yet those who stand firm on the promises of God can begin to see a pattern of blessing emerging in their lives.

If you want to build a pattern in your life that will produce God's blessing, you will need to make a stand. The choices you make determine your convictions, and when it comes to the cross of Jesus Christ, you cannot look on you have to make a choice as to where you stand.

No matter what happens in life, you need to have convictions about your faith, your marriage and even the church you belong to. Let us become people of strong conviction, standing firm when tough times come and knowing where we stand.

© Brian Houston. Permission required to publish this article in any form.

Still praying about the next steps...

So God....still asking what are the next steps?
How can I further progress?

Personal Goals

I've been praying to God, what is the next step for me? What would you like me to?
I feel like he's been telling me, you need to grow up more into a "man." Upon reflection, I realized, I do have to grow. So I was thinking, how do I get there? I thought about setting personal goals, and being really committed to carrying them through. so here's a list..

1. -Man of Integrity, holiness, personal conviction, standing up for God, God Lover, deep relationship with Him
-Making wise choices that are pleasing to Him

2.-Better uncle to Anna and nephew
-love my family

3. Better Finances - Through Investments, eliminating debt, saving for the future

4. Career - CIP designation, active about pursuing Broker jobs

5. Another mission trip - Orphanage or elsewhere

6. Love friends/co-workers and pray for them

7. Be strong leader in church, cell, worship team, deepwaters

8. Get physically better - Moderate physical training


In conclusion...

God help me to achieve all of the above, inorder to glorify you, and to be a "man"

-and life is all about choices, that realization is so simple, but yet so profound! God help me to make wise choices that please you!

Abba Father...Daddy Daddy...

Wow...

What changes...what new attitudes...what new strength and hope you give me...Yet you still make me weak...and I am still depending very much on you for all things..

Recently, you gave me a verse to ponder upon, and to treasure..

That we should ask the Father and we shall receive..
we should seek and we should find..
And when we do ask..and persist...would He give me a scorpion, or garbage??
or would He give me the best? Surely the best..

In James, it says..that every good and perfect gift comes from Him..

You also teach me to wait...

Therefore...

In His time..He makes all things beautiful...

My mouth and my heart say different things...

My mouth tells me...josh move on!, and my friends say the same things. Yet my heart says You love her!, and my heart won't let me let her go. I feel miserable, I haven't eaten that well in a few days, and I find myself asking God a lot of questions, why? why?...what are you doing? why won't you hear my prayers? I'm in a big hole...I don't know when I'm getting out...

Good bye! to my Best friend - Ryan who left today for the states for a year...will visit you soon, will miss you...I will pray for you..

A children's orphanage....

http://www.shaohannahshope.org/
http://www.stevencurtischapman.com/


One of my favorite Christian artists is a man named, Steven curtis chapman. He has made a real impact in my life through his songs, even though I have never met him. I was just thinking to myself just now..."I'm never going to win her heart", ...in that frustration, I came upon his website, and was reminded I should focus on His kingdom. I helped with an orphanage this year, it was a wonderful experience. I just wrote Shaohannah’s Hope to see if there might be any short-term mission opportunities next year, I am waiting to hear back from them. The organization is named after their first adopted daughter.

Okay...so in weakness I give her back to you today, and embrace new ministry opportunities for your glory, so let's see what God has in store regarding this orphanage....

Unfailing Love....

Unfailing Love
by Cary Pierce, Chris Tomlin and Ed Cash

You have my heart, and I am yours forever
You are my strength, God of Grace and Power

And Everything you hold in Your hands
Still You make time for me
I can't understand...

Praise You God of Earth and Sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing Love, Unfailing Love
And you never change, God you remain the Holy One.
And my unfailing love, unfailing Love

You are my Rock, the one I hold on to
You are my Song, And I sing for you

A whole new attitude???

Wow...i think my attitude has changed quite quickly in the last 24 hours. Yesterday God convicted me, and told me I treated the whole situtation like Idolatry. I repented during the night. Then I prayed God help me, show me what to do, and He did....through this incident.....

My eye was really hurting today, I think it was because something got into it. So when I got home, I had to rest in bed to rest my eye.

I think it was a time for God to speak to me deeply about something, because I didn't fall asleep.
I just felt God healing me a lot, and washing away a lot of the pain. And I felt that God was telling me to reconcile with her and reach out to her to seek a friendship with her. To ask for her forgiveness, and be a supportive friend. I felt that God was telling me, that our friendship has a huge gap!, and huge healing, and huge obstacles in order for us to reach a comfortable level of friendship between us again. I don't know how to reach out to her again, I'm praying when is the right time to talk to her, I don't know what her reaction will be. And I just want to reach out to her as a friend, and a brother...I guess I don't know how's she going to react.
Anyway, I'm going to pray about this, and see how God might answer this prayer.
I realize that she is in a relationship with someone else, and I don't want her to think I'm pursuing or chasing her...Just want to be friends...how do I tell her? how do I approach it...??
Once again, I need to pray about this, and will seek the advice of some friends..

Only let your manner of life be worthy......

Interesting.....a devotion from Walk in the Word...

Point of emphasis for me:

“Today I want my life to be pleasing to Him. Tomorrow I want to keep doing this. Next week, next year, in ten years, I still want to be devoted to Christ and His cause. I don’t know what’s coming, I don’t know what the cost will be, but I want to be found faithful.”


A DOLLAR AT A TIME By Dr. James MacDonald

“Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ...” Philippians 1:27
This week I read of a preacher who said that many Christians think that a commitment to Christ is something you give once-for-all, like a thousand dollar bill. Now, I’ve never seen a thousand dollar bill but I get what he’s saying. We think a commitment to Christ is like, “OK, Lord, I lay down my whole life! Here, I’m emptying my wallet of all of its contents. Here’s that thousand dollar bill—it’s everything I am and will ever have. It’s Yours.”

I like that picture, but I would change it a bit. A commitment to Christ is surrendering everything you are and have, but instead of putting that thousand dollar bill in the offering plate, living for Christ is more like giving that same amount in single bills over your lifetime. Faithfulness in each and every moment. Faithfulness at that place of temptation. Faithfulness in a difficult trial. Faithfulness as I’m walking into work too busy for anyone but stopping for that person I know needs a word of encouragement. Commitment is a thousand dollars laid down for God a little bit at a time over a lifetime of faithfulness.

The apostle Paul spent his life this way so he knew what he was asking in Philippians 1:27: “Only let your manner of life be worthy.” It challenges my spirit to “be worthy of Christ.” Ephesians 4:1 tells us, “Walk worthy.” In Colossians 1:10, Paul prayed that we would “live in a manner worthy of the Lord.”

Of all the ingredients that go into being “be worthy of Christ,” faithfulness is the most essential. We’re talking extensively about that on the broadcast this week. This goal should constantly be in the heart of every follower of Jesus Christ. “Today I want my life to be pleasing to Him. Tomorrow I want to keep doing this. Next week, next year, in ten years, I still want to be devoted to Christ and His cause. I don’t know what’s coming, I don’t know what the cost will be, but I want to be found faithful.”

If that thought of faithfulness fires up your faith for another day, then praise God for His sustaining faithfulness to you and keep going!

Songs written in the valley

I just want to post some songs that I have written during this difficult period of my life...
I have deleted the chords, and have posted only the lyrics.

Revelation

I long for you, my Jesus
For your revelation,
that renews my heart
So open my eyes,
And open my heart
So I can see you and hear you

Ohhh….Ohhhh…My eyes are fixed on you
Ohhh…Ohhh…I wait for you my Lord
Ohhh…Ohhh… Just have your way with me…
Jesus Jesus

Burn Jesus Burn in me
I desire to do your will
Fill me with truth, fill me with love
I love you Lord, I love you friend

I long for you, I long for you, I long for you…
I wait for you, I wait for you, I wait for you..
Lord have your way, Lord have your way, Lord have your way with me

Delight

One thing that delights you

Is a heart that seeks your face

So here I am, waiting for you

I hunger and thirst



Come satisfy me

Come satisfy me (x2)

You’re my delight

You’re my delight (x2)

I give you all of me

I will follow you

All of my days

Wherever you will lead

For you alone are worthy


For you alone are worthy (x2)

You’re my delight

You’re my delight (x2)


Running Heavenward

Running heavenward, not looking back
To follow you, all my life
So Jesus will you be
The greatest treasure and nothing else
Will compare


Take all my life
Take all my will
Take all my heart
Be glorified

To know Your very heart
To see what you see
To feel what you feel
To know You

Like a child I run to Daddy’s arms
You hold me close to Your heart
You hear my prayer, You’re so close
You’re guiding me, every step

Here with me

You’re here with me in brokenness and joy
On mountaintops and in my darkest hour
You call me close, I draw near to You
On bended knee, I cry out to You


Lord one thing, Lord one thing, I ask of You
Reveal Your heart to me, I long for more of You


You’re here with me, I feel Your warm embrace
I hear Your voice, Your words full of grace
You touch my heart, with healing hands
I seek You Lord with all of my heart

A childhood memory...

I admit, I am still writing in a spiritual, and emotionally place called the "valley". I don't know when I will get out, that depends on God. But today, at lunch, I just went to a church, it really is like a refuge amongst the busyness of life. As I was praying, and just pouring out my heart to Him again, he reminded me of a memory.

I remember one time during my kid years, I felt really lonely, and afraid. I was in my room at that time, and I just remember praying and being honest before Him. I remember that He comforted me that time. I really felt His presence and His peace that time, and He was telling me that "I'm with you." When I thought about that memory, I felt God telling me, I was with you then, I am with you now.

Keep your eyes on Me..

A older song really says it all for me right now..

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow
strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace

Ryan and me... 

Mexico - Summer 2005 

Cell Group 

Beloved Niece - Anna Banana!  

Family 

Charlie Hall and Cell 

My siblings... 

I will embrace...and I will be thankful

I will embrace the pain you allow in my life. I'm going through a lot of emotional instability and pain, and it won't go away, God has not healed me yet. My only conclusion, is that God wants to continue with this trial, until He says it'll stop. So by His grace, help me to embrace the pain, and to have an open heart to learn what you are trying to teach me. Help me to always have a thankful heart.

The practice of the Prescence of God

Wow..

It's a concious effort and I must pray about it too, to always remember that God is always with me. Wherever I go, in every situation, he's just right there. At work today, I felt the pressure, but I realized "why should I fear man, what could he possibly do to me?", God is with me!, and when I know that, I am more careful about my choices, what I say, and my actions. I can think more critically and prayfully about decisions. And most importantly, it means I don't have to be afraid of anything, because He is with me. At work, I work really hard, and I work as if Jesus is there. So I pray that I will always be mindful of your prescence in my life, in every situation.

-Joshy signing out-

In your time....

hmm....just want to let those feelings go for her, and God if you bring a miracle and bring us back together, please keep those feelings inside of me.....if not, God please take away all the feelings..

In your time you make all things beautiful..

single minded...whole hearted...

God has been teaching me many things over the months. Recently he has been teaching me to be still and to follow him. Many things can trouble me, but God constantly tells me to be quiet, sit down, and be still. So many things that I want and desire, and I do not have. But God tells me to follow him! And he will watch and take care of me, he knows what I long for, and hope for, and desire.

I thank God for allowing me to be an influence on others through worship, cell group, friendships, family, and workplace. I thank God for the opportunity to serve, God please continue to expand my influence and continue to make me an influence.

You challenge with Psalm 24. Give us clean hands and a pure heart. Lord, give me integrity, may my words, actions, thoughts, motives always be pleasing to You. As I do those things, make me into a History Maker! Being a history maker, isn’t really about the grand things, but really about the choices we make, and how we live our lives.

But having said that, I still dream big for God. I want deepwaters – http://www.deepwaters.ca/ to be an influence to the young people of Toronto, Canada and the world. I want to be involved with College ministries so that young people can be passionate about him. God I commit these dreams to you, that you might fulfill them in my lifetime.

You challenge me to be bold about sharing my faith with others at work. So many times, I’m so timid and don’t speak up about you. They need to know you!! Don’t they?
God help me to change.

I see my ex-girlfriend a lot! I wonder if we still have chance!? I wonder what she thinks? Has she moved on? Do you love me like I do you?
Anyways…I give these to you God, in your time, you make all things beautiful!


Joshy – signing out….