Perseverance.....

Sometimes i get discouraged...So easily. So easily wanna just give up. But you reminded me that you want us to persevere, to be faithful and keep going, keep growing. Discouraged cause I don't always get what I want, sometimes I just don't understand you God. But again, you ask me to wait on you for things you want to give me. As the song says...You are the way the truth and the Life, I live by faith and not by sight. Pretty cool!...Lord, give me joy!, peace!, hope,wisdom, direction and an unwavering devotion to you. Jesus would you light my way!

Orange cards...

I got two orange cards from two friends recently..

One of them wrote:

I thank God for you, because of the
genuine heart of worship that you display. Worshipping God is an
awesome privilege and I appreciate your honesty and authentic worship
leading during small group.

Another one of them wrote:

You brought me to Cornerstone. Your continuous love and effort is always so encouraging. You've never given up on me from before and now. Your kind and harsh words stick with me and I think about what you say, though it seems like I don't. Thank You.

personal comments: Thank you for these two great friends who have encouraged me to press on!, to keep doing these things that I have been doing. I love worship, and always strive to be a faithful friend. i wanna do more for you. Only you lead. You take me to new heights, use me to bless others and lift them up.

"Consuming fire, fan into flame, a passion for your name. Spirit of God, fall in this place, Lord have your way, Lord have your way with us."

Confessions...

I just bought the Hillsong United New CD...

Haha!, I bought the demo, and got 10% off, better than nothing...Listening to it, and watching their dvd. I had some jealously, and it wasn't always about God anymore, perhaps the music and wanting to be a somebody. Forgive me God, for wanting to be a somebody, wanting glory for myself, showing off. I think you desire me to submit to you..."Lord have your way in me"...take me to new heights, teach me new things, lead me to new places...fan into flame a passion for you new.. Just use me Lord, keep me humble, always mindful of your mercies.. I don't want to be a somebody...If you want to put me up on some kinda "higher place"....Lord just whatever you want...."stir it up in hearts Lord, a passion for you new"!!

A great quote..

"Knowing is not enough, we must apply.
Willing is not enough, we must do."
-Bruce Lee-

Trip to Guelph....

Wow, so thankful Dear Lord, for a great trip to Guelph this past weekend..We didn't do so much, but it was just a time of hanging out with your best friend..and laughing, drinking beer, playing pool...man we rode bikes everywhere..reason..cause we didn't have cars...boy was it cold..my head shivers...but it was worth the trip. What a time to get away, and be quiet, be in a quiet place, and learn from God, and spend time with a good friend. On the bus to guelph, God taught me a few things..it was sorta related to the parable of the talents, and how whatever God gives me, time, talents, and opportunities, that I should just go for it..and take a chance, even though I get scared, or freeze or become afraid, or feel so little, I should do it..all for God and let God take care of the rest. I feel that it is good to take chances and to step up, and grow!..I love you god, and forgive me for not spending that time with you to get connected to you, and not reading your word regularly. Lord, give me strength, endurance, patience to run this race!, to not give up..Lord give me wisdom and an open heart to learn what you are teaching me right now.. Lord I give you all of my burdens and all of my pain.. that I can please you in every way..bearing fruit for you, living according to your will..that I may know what is the hope to which you have called me, what are the riches of your glorious inheritance and the immeasurable power greatness of your power for us who believe, according to your work of your great power. ...I love the small city..there's little crime, good place to raise a family..and I may consider moving one day to a small city.. Lord I place all my burdens and cares in your hands, everything in my heart in your hands...Lord make me into a Godly man..passionate for you..undying love, that I would do anything, and everything for you...Jesus Christ the reason I live...

A song that moves me....

Album-Lord of Every Heart-Stuart Townend

My Desire

What wonder of grace is this?
What story of passion divine
Where judgement and mercy kiss
Where power and love are entwined
No tongue can speak this glory
No words express the joy your bring
As I enter the courts of the King

My desire is to come to this place
My desire is to look on your face
Perfect in beauty and truth and love
Your glory shines over all the earth
The King who lavishes grace on us is here

Your will is my daily bread
Enough for my plenty and need
I'll live by the words you said
And follow wherever you lead
And though my flesh may fail
You prove your grace in all that I do
Lord my heart is devoted to you

I admit, I totally tried to rush God when it's not His timing yet. I got so anxious and so focused on something I shouldn't have. Forgive me God. Yesterday at church the sermon was on prayer. The prayer Paul prayed for the Colossians was the text of the message. Col 1:9-14 was the text. I must confess that I may have been praying too much about one thing, which showed how selfish I am..and not enough about pleasing God. This prayer showed a priority of a Godly man. To be able to know God's will-which is to live a life worthy of Him, and can please Him in every way. The characteristics of this kind of life-being an effective Christian, experiencing God more, have endurance and patience for the journey, and always giving thanks. Man! what a life that is!, I think I should be praying about this more. I know it's not wrong to pray about my girl problems, but I better know my priorities. I have to write more soon...I will....

Ahh..I confess I haven't been doing my best in school these days..sorta lazy...distracted by many things..so I'm going to work hard!..the other day, I heard a song called "facedown", cool song!..talks about the reverence of God...and his glory! just showing up!, What is His glory, I think it his awesomeness, his power!, that just makes us wanna fall facedown!, sometimes we forget that we should be bowing facedown!..isn't he worthy of it!..Well God is with us always anyway, and he is working in our lives..so I suppose that is Glory!..but is there more than that!..Does God wanna do more!..?? I think He does...I think we lose that reverence for God sometimes..so I never wanna lose it! Lord let your glory shine around..and we all fall facedown! I will I will I will!...

Just thinking...oh can't stop writing, I love this!! haha!...
I guess the reason she rejected was because she didn't know me that well, needed to know my character, ups and downs...and I'm thinking, how am I ever going to win her heart, if it's so hard to get her to open up to me!..especially win perhaps another guy in her life is way ahead of me when it comes to that deep friendship she wants before she dates a person...! but then I was thinking this morning, "Josh you really don't trust God", yeah I guess I don't...I don't trust in His timing, trust that He'll make it all work out for me..So I pray for peace!, Lord I pray you forgive me!, Lord i pray that you change me, into a Godly man!, passionate man for you!, that I'll do anything for you God..nothing reserved!...if there is another attractive about me, then I pray that part of me will shine indeed!...My friend told me this truth...if God wanted you to have a girlfriend, you would already have one. So true..so true...so I wait...potter change this life/heart, through molding me...

There's this girl that I utterly adored!..Told her how I felt. I must say I was hurt by her response, yet I wasn't that hurt..yet I was not surprised either. I prayed so long about her, thought it was the right time. But upon reflection, and hearing advice and yelling from my dear friends...thoughts came into my head...Perhaps I was too focused upon getting her, and instead of working harder to be a good friend and getting to know her better, I took matters into my own hands, and wrote her my confessions...boy did it take a lot of courage...perhaps it's God saying no, or perhaps its the wrong timing, or maybe both truths are correct. I was talking to a friend on the phone last night, and he quoted 1 corinthians 13...that beautiful passage about love...and he made me think about "Love is not self-seeking", perhaps, I have been selfish, I didn't give my desires to God, I didn't wait...Hey, but I've grown, I mean I did it cause she was challenging me to be a man, and take initiative. I guess I was just so anxious about it. So I leave it into Gods hands, indeed He watches over my heart...But i'm thankful that we've become better friends-her and I...I hope that we can grow in that friendship...I was real to you, tried to be a good friend!...you know that girl!