Guiding Light & In his time...

I've been thinking about my career recently. I think I've been a little passive about my career. Maybe because I like the comfort and the stability. But I feel like God is challenging me to just start aiming higher with my career. So I think in the next couple of months, I will be looking for new job opportunities. Marketplace ministry is a ministry that i will always want to stay in though. So God, I trust you, as I step out in faith...you lead...you be my guiding light...

In his time...

There has been something I have been praying about for a long time. It's been a personal prayer, a personal request to God. I don't know if he is answering that prayer, but I'm going to have to wait to see if God will let happen. Last week God just said to me, "in my time...in my time.." ..."be patient."

Beauty in the broken...

I was thinking the other day, how far God has taken me. It's funny how God quickly can change your perspective. For a while I was praying that he would take me further ever gone before to the point where I would be wanting nothing, and would have nothing to offer. And to the point of complete trust and utter dependence. But the other day, He reminded that he did take me there. As I look back at my experiences, he has taken me to the point of bankruptcy, and complete brokenness. Oh how those were hurtful times when God humbled and crushed me.

But it's so wonderful how God has a way of restoring us and completing us even when we feel so broken. He has a way of making the broken beautiful, and restoring it. That's way I like this song by Starfield. The lyrics are a reflection of how I feel sometimes.....

Unashamed - Starfield

I have not much To offer YouNot near what You deserve

But still I comeBecause Your cross Has placed in me my worth

Oh, Christ my King Of sympathy Whose wounds secure my peace Your grace extends To call me friend

Your mercy sets me free And I know I'm weak I know I'm unworthy To call upon Your name But because of grace Because of Your mercy I stand here unashamed I can't explain This kind of love I'm humbled and amazed That You'd come down From heavens heights And greet me face to face Here I am at Your feet In my brokeness complete

Disarming the heart...

Well I think one can argue that there is truth in every religion, not just Christianity. The Dalai Lama is in Canada visiting the PM and making speeches, and promoting peace. I'm not advocating his religion, but he does have a point when he says that there is an inner conflict of the human soul which is jealousy and hatred. And the only solution is to replace those distructive attitudes with compassion and a holistic world view. He also says that we can look at each other with compassion because we came all from a common place: our mother's womb. He suggests that this is the solution to the world's problems - global warming, terrorism and war. But I suppose that stopping here would be a faulty thing to do because we can't disarm our hearts with mere human means. We can change our hearts alone. We can't save ourselves. The only solution is Jesus Christ. The world needs Jesus, to save us, and to change our hearts. I guess it's a personal reminder of what my life-long mission is all about.

God @ work..

Today God reminded me of something at work. In the afternoon, my boss and I went downstairs to get chocolate because we were both struggling to stay awake. It happens a lot! hehe....

And he mentioned to me..."I'm reading the old testament right now." And you know what my response was? I didn't really say anything or showed any enthusiasm at all.

A little reminder and rebuke from God to keep the spiritual focus at work and be intentional. It's hard, because I get so focused on work and doing the tasks, instead of being more missional.

I have to do better :)

Wisdom part 2...

Before I go and talk about wisdom. I thought about the show Heroes. Yesterdays episode did speak to me. It was kind of spiritual actually, well at least I thought it was. One of the heroes has the ability to copy people's talents. She is able to do this once she watches the other person doing. Obviously she is totally confused and doesn't know what to think about it. And then she asked herself the question..."what is the meaning of all of this?" and she further goes on and says that she has always prayed meaning in her life. I thought that was cool stuff. hehe..something I just appreciate I guess.

Now back to wisdom part 2..

You know how Paul in the bible had a thorn in his flesh? Perhaps that was a weakness or sickness or even pain...but the point is that God allowed it in his life to keep him humble and in reliance on God.

In my case, I am no difference. I don't know today was a humbling experience. The whole day I was carrying and thinking about something and God has a way to use it to utterly humble and crush me until I have no ego and no strength left in me. When I got home, in my room I just started to pray for a really long time. God had a way of making me utterly vulnerable and completely weak and helpless.

But God has a way of using these things to soften my heart and make me more receptive to Him. I know that a lot of times we try and run away every time we face difficulties, pain, conflict or confusion, but I find it not very helpful. I find it best to run to God quickly..and very quickly..

Then I found him speaking to me and clarifying some thoughts I was thinking about, further helping me to know what I should do.

Wisdom...

There is this church in the heart of the financial district downtown. It seems out of place actually in a busy downtown core. Yet when you go inside, it's actually a sanctuary, and a place of peace.

I went there today at lunch time to pray and seek God. There was something that I was thinking hard about that I wanted to process through. It was actually helpful that I got to talk to some of my friends over MSN during work for some advice and counsel, and they just gave some good counsel and wisdom.

They asked me, so what do you think God wants you to do?? What a direct question, it kinda makes you think a bit...But I was prepared actually, I had already prayed about this and talked to other people about this before. The combination of everything helped affirmed to me what I should do.

I guess in the book of James when he writes about how God gives wisdom generously, it really is true. :)

God answering a prayer?

God are you answering one of my prayers? .... I think you are...
God give wisdom, God lead me :)

A pleasant calm....

I think from my last post I showed a lot of frustration and strife. But God rewards those who seek him...and I found him speaking to me again..

I don't want to give up, and God doesn't want me to give up, I have to keep going, I have to keep moving. That was one encouragement that God gave me these past couple of weeks. You are so pleased when your children exercise faith and perserverance, seeking you for wisdom, so reliable, so true...so faithful...rather than complain, and lose sight of any purpose, and lose our spiritual perception.

I was afraid that i was losing my way. I felt so lost...didn't know where I was going, didn't know where I was headed. But in the silence, God affirmed in my heart that He is leading me. Even though I don't know everything, I can have confidence that He is leading me forward.

One of the things that I've been praying is that He would lead me deeper, farther, higher, closer, than I've ever gone before. I don't know really know what that prayer really means, but I'm willing to let Him show me. The song "cry of my heart" has been my prayer for the past couple of weeks.

Cry of my heart

There's a cry in my heart
For your glory to fall
For your presence to fill up my senses
There's a yearning again
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper

Could you take me beyond
Could you carry me through
If I opened my heart
Could I go there with you
For I've been here before

O Lord, I need to know you
For what do I have
If I don't have you Jesus
What in this life
Could mean anymore
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter of my head

Today I heard a good sermon on temptation and desire. Just like everyone else, I also am prone to temptation. The text was on James 1: 13 - 17. But I saw more than just about how to deal with temptation, I saw it more like a measure of growth. The key is always to have God's desires and to let that drive you, and consume you and to live out those desires.