Jacques Martin, it's not your fault!!!

Poor dejected coach, being blamed for the loss of the senators. ahh, it's not your fault jacques!! blame patrick lalime, blame john muckler for not making the right trades to make the team better. I have understanding from sports analysis that players like bondra didn't make a contribution to the team, and even rob ray??, and I think another player...and of course!! lalime! for letting two soft goals!! muckler!! you should be fired, not martin!! Jacques I pay homage to you for being a really great coach. You made the players work hard and be effective. You care a lot about defense. Well done! jacques for all the hard work you put into this team! who couldn't reach their full potential!

meeting God in confusion...

Can't always connect the circumstances of what is going in my life to who you are God. If I only understood certain principles about how God operates, then I wouldn't be confused. Does God always answer our prayers immediately? or respond immediately? principles... Josh Get it into your head!!..remember...

-God always has a plan
-His timing is always perfect
-There is nothing to fear
-I have much to learn-a teachable spirit can be so helpful in a time of confusion-Building our faith is a high agenda for God

Therefore, to the left to the right, I will not go...I will walk in your word..
-your beloved son-

My day...

Went to do interview with government of Canada, Human resources department. Felt totally unprepared, and wonder what kind of impression I left with them. But I did my best under the circumstances. I really like the job description they were telling me, it really sounds interesting and challenging. I really hope that there could be a way I could get this job. Have exam tonight too, have to go and get ready for that. Anyway, so here starts my job hunting search...

People matter....

Interesting, inspiring, great Sunday service. You taught how important people are to you. You don't give up on people, and certainly we all are precious in your eyes. You died for us didn't you!? yes!...you remind to not give up on people either-my friends, my church, family, cell group even though they may not meet all my expectations. You teach to do things with perserverance and love..to keep doing good, and sowing, helping and encouraging.

-Lord have your way...-

come in, come in...

Just finished my stats exam final...relieved and yet tired...there's still a little more to go josh!, have to finish a report, study for a final on monday night, and prepare for a job interview with the govt for monday. Things are winding down aren't they? what does the future lie? ...Tired..King of Glory come in, give peace and freedom and grace...as I lift up my eyes, my attention and sing, direct my thoughts towards you.

status quo...
Just thinking, that I just shouldn't accept the way things are, there has to be more in this life. In my church, cell group, everything. My cell group, sometimes I feel like we're there more to relax and socialize..don't feel that the passion is there anymore, that we are all accepting things the way they are? is there more? Certainly I don't point any figures at anybody, cause I'm part of it too, so I have to take responsibility. So use my god to bring more to this group, to challenge the way things are, to encourage people to move forward, to new heights.

So..I rest on the promises of God, which is found in your word. I believe in you, and will obey your teachings. I will trust you, and wait upon you for all your promises to be fullfilled to me.

Who do you say I am?...You are the Christ, Son of the Living God...

Chilling at Jack Astor's...

So what are you teaching me this day? Seems that your teaching me about compassion, listening, feeling their pain. Just went out for a bite with one of my closest buds...and he's telling me about his family situation, and difficulty and stress with all of that. It's so important to be a really good listener, and to have compassion. I'm also soo thankful for a good family, who lovely support me in all things that i do. Not a lot of people have a great family like mine.

I dunno, feel like I'm more exciting about you God and the things that matter most to you. I never wanna sit on the sidelines or be indifferent. I'm totally for you, and care about what you care about. Yes, you have and are continually fanning into flame a passion for your name.

sow and reap...

Yeah, how it is important to sow and reap good things into people's lives. You remind me today, not to give up on people, because you don't. Why should I? I care about being an inspiration and encouraging others to better their lives. I suppose that is one of my passions.. but I do care about the poor and lifting up those who have nothing. So I'm just going to apply to different things, and let you open doors for me, whether it be at the bank, or any other company, or internships. There is still no strong indication for you God that I should go back to school, so I'm a little hesistant to go that route. But I would love to be a teacher one day, although my only passion would be to teach music. I love it.

At the end of my day...

Today was good, a lot of encouragement from God from people. Whether they are christian or not, Lord used them to encourage me. The power of encouragement, hope and wisdom said to others has a positive effect on the person. Use me to do just that. My mouth is yours, and may they come from my heart.

People can say a lot of things to me, hurtful things, encouragements, or spot my imperfections. Yes i need to take them humbly. At the end of the day, it's what you say about me. And I feel your encouragement and touch on my soul, my heart. Your bring healing, and peace where i have been wounded. You strengthen and give me faith to carry on, even though my future is uncertain. Use me father wherever I am, my talents everything, and at the end of the day, I quiet myself down, and what you say to me, is most important.

Thank You God for laughter!

Well, everything that has happened has made me sad. Also confused. Today I went to see one of my teachers, Eric Wickham. Man he's been teaching at the college for 25 years!! hahaa...amazing...He was just showing me a picture of him when he was younger...with a nice beard, no greys!! haha..it was funny..I guess he was sharing with me, just some stories. It gave me a lot of hope for the future, and lifted my spirits. Thank you God for laughter, hope, and encouragement. You let me know that I'm going to be okay. I'll be alright. Following you God. Lead the way to exciting things!

But I do treasure you...

Yes, I do treasure my friendship with her. I would do anything for her anyway. Yup would take a bullet for her. Yeah I love her, but I want her to be happy. If she's not going to be happy with me, then there's another for her. I think she knows through what I say, and actions that I treasure our friendship, don't want to lose it. nope, not going to let that happen, despite this hurdle in our friendship..
God you watch over my heart...

So..what's next??

So what is next God? I am not her ideal. She said, "You don't even know me" or "I am more than you think I am", well I get the impression, she doesn't think that I'll accept it. So we're different...but I would support her in whatever ventures she would want to..of course I want to go on adventures, I told her this. So what now God?...I guess nothing. So she asks me why do you want this so bad? I told her the truth....not good enough? I'm not good enough. Okay, I get the message. Loud and clear..Josh get it into your head!!!! Get it into your heart!! WAke up Josh!

more more thoughts...!!!

So, she said to me, how long will it take for you to get over me?, guess I didn't say anything, didn't know the answer...Lord did you shut the door? or did you say now is not the time?but why does it matter how I feel about her? if she just can't see...well, I guess it is obvious that she doesn't want this as much as I do...perhaps it is time to let go?? I dunno...well if she wants to just be friends..I accept that...I have to...

So many things that I wanna say...

There are so many things that I want to say to her. Yet I can't. Will it make a difference? I wish that she knew how much I cared and loved her, even though our friendship is new. So many things I see good, and love in her. Oh well, Lord you are in control. Once again, I place her into your hands.

Ever I will seek your Lord! yes!...Lord help me to finish the school term strong!, I don't know where I am going, only you know, direct my paths, though it is unknown to me. My constant prayer is that I can be more like you Jesus. I thank you, that there has been so much "Jesus" talk in the news lately, from the passion, to documentaries to movies. It's so good and awesome!, It remains to be seen, what kind of impact this does for your kingdom.

"Cause all you are is all I want always. Draw me close, in your eyes.. OH GOD!, I wanna be with you!, I wanna be with you!"

Today as I was reading your word and reflecting on the book of Numbers!, wow, and I got something from it! hehe. Lord today you taught me that you are the centre of everything in my life. You're the focus, my life depends on you! I'm not going far from you! you're my life. May you always be first in my life! yeah!

Striving to be a good, faithful friend..

I wanna be a good, faithful friend to all of my friends. Don't want to let anyone of them down. Love them all!, If they fall, I fall with them, and if they rise, I rise with them. God help me to be a faithful friend, always pointing them back to Jesus Christ, supporting them with love and encouragement. Thank you for the gif of friendship and help me not to take anyone for granted!

More personal thoughts

Is saying "I love you" good enough? or what would it take to win your heart? I don't know..Lord, I lay down to you all of my thoughts, including the most heavy one of all into your hands. Am all I am, and everything I want to be..my dreams, my character and flaws good enough to win your heart? What would it take? .....Jesus Christ take all of my life and take all of me. Anyway, shine your light on this situation and give peace. Your peace my fortress.

Offerings to God...

Lord reading a passage in the old testament, talking about offerings. Just thinking about what is precious to me that I can just offer to God. Yeah, there is much, money, time, school, diploma, energy, my whole life, that girl i like..:), take it all, use it for your glory. I give you the things most precious to me but also everything. It's costly too.