Honesty before God....

Wow! what a long day!..

But it has been a good, productive day. I felt God's peace, and strength throughout the day which really enabled me to work hard, and to please God and my boss. I do admit that I came into this job with the wrong mindset. Coming into this job, I just really "took it easy" and didn't try and make my mark on the organization, or take initiative. But now I realized that it was the wrong mentality. It's hard to change, but God is helping me!

During the weekend, I was going through a major spiritual battle. I found myself pouring myself to God in prayer. I found myself being totally, completely honest with God about everything. I didn't hold anything back, nor hide anything. I think that is what God wants us to do. By pouring out these burdens to Him, it really enabled me to let go of things. And it allowed me to tell Him, how much I really did need Him.

On the bus, I just felt peace, and I was calm despite everything that is happening around me. So I'm learning and praying that I will always be in that place. Where I can be above all of my troubles.

My commander in chief...

Help!!..

I am facing a very intense spiritual battle right now..discouragement, temptation, fear, pain, helplessness, confusion..

At this time, I bow down my heart, to say that you are more than enough, to say that I need you, to say that you are in control, to say that you are my king, to say that your grace is enough, to say that you are my shepherd, and my portion, to say that you are my best friend, to say that I will abide in You.

I feel the war inside my soul. Help me God.

And now I bow my heart, face, and body, and say "what does my Lord command me to do?"

Look up, get back up!, keep up, listen up..!

I just came back from an awesome softball game!... It was really one of the best games that I have played in my life. It was a tight game. We fought and rallied, made defensive errors, got many runs in, had some bad plays, but also encouraged each other. If someone made a mistake, we would let the other person know what they did wrong and how they can improve, and encouraged them to try again.

This is like the Christian life. We all make mistakes, but we always have to learn from them, see how we can improve and get back up, look to Him to change and to get strength. We also need to help each other, and encourage each other to improve, keep each other accountable, and lift each other up, pray for each other. We need to listen to each other, to get their wisdom about a certain situation, we need to keep reading our manual (Bible) to see how we should live. Let's live out the faith, and let's learn :)

We won the game!! It was really an amazing game. Thank you God!

You have been encouraging me over and over again, not to look at anyone else, but to keep looking at you. We still need to seek accountablility but we can't live for anyone else, and we can't be anyone else, cause at the end of the day...we must answer to God.

So I'm looking at you God!

Amen!

http://www.annegrahamlotz.com

Your voice and tears....

Please check the link above...

It's the website of an author I respect and appreciate. I've been reading a book by her called, "My Heart's Cry". It really is about how we can know Jesus better, more intimately than before. I read it before already, but I have forgotten, then one day I decided to read it again. At this critical time, I feel the urge and importance to pursue Him more. I'm still going through a difficult time, still emotional, and feeling pain over my past relationship.

But...

God has told me to look at Him, not anyone else! Him!! Him ! him!, and I have done that. I look at my ex girlfriend, and I get hurt, I look at other people's ministries and I get jealous because I want that too, I look at my friends marriages, and I want that too...

But God has told me to stop looking!! look at Him!
And I have done so.

So I've been praying that God would speak to me personally and through his word to me personally, and He has! Just to hear you speak to me about my circumstances, or to hear you say you love me is enough.

And now I'm reading the second chapter of the book..."more of his tears..""

It's really about how we can identify ourselves soo closely with Him, that his tears of joy, sadness, pain, etc, become our tears.

Wow! reading this book will help me pursue my life's motto. "To be a man after His own heart"

i've also been recently touched by Psalm 24. "He who has clean hands and a pure heart, will ascend the hill of the Lord." Man! that's a true history maker! I think that verse really means that those lives that are so closely aligned with His word, as well as our motives and thoughts are pure and pleasing to Him, those are the people who will know the blessing of God in their lives!
So this has also been my prayer.

I have also learned to pursue what God has placed in my heart to pursue. I feel that urge to continue leading worship and being involved in worship, and I feel that I should continue to try and write songs. I must help others, youths, to experience God and to challenge them through worship ministry.

Will write more soon..

Joshua

check it out!

check out the following websites

www.deepwaters.ca
www.friendster.com - search for user: yitzer@hotmail.com

more blogging to come!!

Josh