Journeyman....For such a time as this....

To continue with the theme of living for the kingdom....

I really like this show on tv right now called "Journeyman." It's a show about this reporter named "Dan Vasser" and at first it appears he's just the typical family guy with a wife and a kid.

Surprise, Surprise, that isn't the case. This guy for some reason or another, he goes back in time; usually perhaps 10 years prior or even 20 year prior to his present time.

He has to go back in time because he has to do some mission and it always has to do with saving a person from danger and/or death. I love this show because it speaks to me how he has to go into a certain period of time and fullfill his calling and help someone.

While I was watching it today, it reminded me of a story in the bible. It reminded me of the story of Esther in the bible and how she was chosen to by King Xerxes to be his wife and queen. There was a plot of kill the Jews in the kingdom, but As a result of Esther's intervention and influence they survived!

From a human perspective why did she get to be queen? Perhaps she was beautiful. But from spiritual perspective, perhaps God put her in that position for a reason.

Esther 4: 13 - 14: he sent back this answer: "Do not think that because you are in the king's house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"

Isn't that great!!??

It helps me want to pray that I can serve a purpose and be a blessing to others. As I reflect on my life, I sometimes wonder how I could? I work on the corporate world dealing with people with nice suits and money. How could I possibly make a difference? I am not a social worker, a teacher or a doctor.

I believe for now I'm supposed to work in the marketplace, well at least for the time being...I am afterall looking for a new job.

It's something to think and reflect on I guess. It's something that I need to pray about and ask God to show me how.

A greater desire - Part 2

I have to admit that after I had the conversation with that person the other day, in which God spoke to me and said "no" and/or the "wrong time" I was personally very hurt. I am not angry or anything, I'm just kinda broken inside right now that's all.

It hurt me a lot to the point that I've been struggling these past couple of days in my heart. I've been praying a lot during the day, trying to remember to "seek the kingdom of God" trying to handle it in a Godly manner.

Anyway...His strength is sufficient, and I have to believe it. The reason I am facing this is because it's the best way God humbles me, and it makes my heart tender towards God.

I'm doing my best to do the Lord's will. The best that I can and the best that I know how.

When I get home I'm going to go on my knees and pray.......God have mercy.

-Amen-

A greater desire....

Have you ever wanted something so bad?? and for some reason, you don't get it? And efforts are futile? That's how I feel about God and something that I've been praying about for a while and asking the Lord for. As I prayed, and asked, I thought that God was answering the prayer. As I was having a conversation with someone the other day, God spoke through this person to tell me that it was either "no" or the wrong time.

So throughout the day, I have been struggling with conflicting feelings, and questions...here's what I came up with.....

I've been on this plan to read the bible for one year. This means that I have a schedule to follow, where I read a few chapters a day from both the old testament and new testament. It's good and interesting to see the story of God and man as you read through the story of creation, to man's sin, to the covenant between Abraham and God, and on and on. It's going to be an interesting read, but I am confident that I will learn a lot. Perhaps I will learn more of the why questions, and the purpose of things with more clarity.

Anyways...going on with what I came up with....As I was reading the bible, I came across the passage that talks about "seeking first the kingdom of God." And I thought to myself, wow that's the answer. There's absolutely no way that I can just change that initial desire..however, I thought to myself, the best way to handle this, is to seek and hold on to a greater desire.

So for now, even though I struggle with patience and want, while God tells me to wait...I can try and handle it in a more Godly manner.

Guiding Light & In his time ....Part 2

So I'm presently in the process of sending applications for a new job. I admit that I've struggle with this a lot. But recently I found a new found motivation to press on and perservere with this. I don't know what God has in store, but I need to have faith that God has good things ahead.

God have mercy...

I know that I screw my life a lot. I stumble way too much. I make promises to God that I don't keep, and I utterly fail so much at my attempts to be holy, and to do what is right. I utterly fail at believing in God's best for me, and instead run my own course and forget about Him. It's new prayer and habit that I want to come before God and ask for mercy, grace, compassion and strength on a continual basis because I recognize how much I need God.

Prayer...

I did mention that there was something that I have been praying. A personal request to God....It's good what I think God said to me...he didn't say "no"...He said wait and see. Be patient....So often we rush things and it's not God's timing....Be patient He tells me :) ..... I don't feel I have much control right now. I feel like I have to allow God to take control and let it play out according to God's will.