I keep writing about the same thing...

I keep writing about the same thing. About Mel again. hmmm... I can't really explain. Even if I ran away across the world, or disappeared, I would still love and think about her the same as I do now. Right now, I'm thinking about her again. hmm..well she probably is moving on now. As for me, God has ordained that I must constantly think about her. I wish that i could say some things to her, in order to bring her back. But I know it won't happen. But I'm just going to pretend...

I love you. i adore you, and everything about you. You have in the past, and in the future made me into a better person by challenging me and bringing new perspective into my life. I love you because you are passionate about the things God has gifted you in. I love you because you make me happy. I miss you every single day.

okay. I'm not sure how long I will continue to write about her, but I'm going to, because she really is what I think about, other than God. God is always my first love, but she is also in my heart and in my mind all the time. Sometimes I feel her so intensely within me. When that happens, I have to breathe in, and breathe out for a while, until I can calm down.

What would I give to be with her again? Anything!. Anything to be in her presence, anything to have her with me again. I know with all my heart, that I do love her.

Thinking about her is great and wonderful, but knowing that I can't be with her is actually very painful. Therefore...

God help me through this!... Your grace is sufficent for me!